Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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