this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
