dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
