I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize