then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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