God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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