I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
vagina is talking i cant
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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