He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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