seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
