didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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