you didnt know i had herpes?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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