Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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