Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
