So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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