I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
