I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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