he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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