you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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