so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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