why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
