I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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