I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize