But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
