My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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