Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
