Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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