Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
