Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
we're so committed to being not committed
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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