eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
