So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
