I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
