I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
