Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
