There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
