I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
