Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize