I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize