LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I came so hard my ears popped.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
