she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
