I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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