Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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