she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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