Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
