Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
