and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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