Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
