Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
