i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
