There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
