Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
