Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
