Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
