My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
