I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
