btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
