tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
