I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
