i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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