so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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