But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
